Rolling With the Changes: A Paralyzed Dog With a Positive Attitude

A new normal promises to spin up a relatively relaxed lifestyle.

Within a 12 hour period, my world flipped upside down entirely. The evening of January fifth was normal, exciting, average, and concerning all at once. What started as a basic Friday turned extremely happy with the news of my adorable nephew being born: excitement and congratulations were shared over the phone. However, throughout an otherwise normal evening I noticed that my dog was acting strange. Though normally jumpy and happy and energetic, he was hesitant to get on the sofa, he was moving slowly, and going up the stairs seemed painful. He was still moving around and seemed content in my lap so it seemed the pain wasn't intense.

With a promise to take him to the vet in the morning, my boyfriend and I brought him to bed. The night was full of his labored breathing and heavy panting. Waking up around seven A.M., I went to the bathroom and returned to a calmer dog. Matt put him on the floor and immediately grew concerned, Killian had no function in his hind legs. Unfazed, or maybe out of stress, Killian dragged himself quickly out of the room, and to elevate our stress levels, straight down the stairs. Hind legs splayed behind him, he began drinking water and pulling himself around the first floor while the other two dogs at my parents' house sniffed and followed him closely.

Knowing that my parents' dog was paralyzed from a slipped disc six years ago, I called up the emergency vet we brought her to and we began the 40 minute drive over. Killian hates car rides immensely and tends to have stress seizures at the vet so it became even more anxiety inducing for me. We got checked in, he was taken back so they could run some tests, and we just sat, answered questions, and waited for about three hours before they said "it'll be a while why don't you get some breakfast and we will call you back when we have results."

Saturday morning, waiting to see the emergency vet

Off we went, with the intention to grab some food, head back to my parents' house to retrieve my car, and then go pick up our boy. I took a few bites of my sausage biscuit with egg, felt nauseous, stopped eating, and tried to rest while Matt drove. With a massive headache, stress and crying will do that, I hopped in the shower thinking it would go away. Not the case. We were just about to leave the house when I realized that I couldn't hold back the nausea anymore and ran to the bathroom to throw everything up I had attempted to eat. I then had an emotional breakdown. Its funny how stress can take an awful situation and expedite it to make everything ten times worse. So, we left my car because I was in no shape to drive, and drove the 40 minutes back to wait around.

With his test results in, they gave us our answers ( to the best of their ability as they are no longer a facility with a neurology department.) What was most likely a degenerative disc issue ( we couldn't afford the MRI to get an exact answer) had caused swelling and inflammation in his spine that was affecting the nerves in his lower half. They recommended surgery, which is incredibly expensive and with everything for the day it was already over one thousand dollars, so that was out of the question. Instead they gave us a plethora of medications and advice to seek out a neurology department.

That night didn't go much better than the rest of the day. I slept for a majority of the afternoon. My head was pounding, I kept crying, and I couldn't keep any food down. We set up a twin mattress on the floor next to a crate, that Killian had not used since he was about four months old (he's now eight.) Adding onto his stress level, he is a dog with major FOMO and major separation anxiety. So a crate is not his favorite place. Now, by seven P.M., it had been about 20 hours since Killian had last peed or pooped. He no longer has continence. We must squeeze his bladder to get him to pee, which can be very frustrating.

We tried, I used the tactics I had used with my parents' dog previously, it didn't work. Matt looked videos up on youtube and followed those tutorials; it didn't work. We were exhausted after being mostly awake and worrying the night before, dealing with the emotions of the day, and just feeling hopeless and overwhelmed. We both went to sleep on the twin mattress outside his crate, only to wake up at three A.M. to a crying dog. We figured we would try to get him to pee again, this time just laying him down in the tub and attempting this in a controlled, warm environment (seeing as it is winter in Michigan.) He did not pee, however he did have a bit of a poop situation. I decided I would get him out of the tub, lifting him the same way I have daily for the last eight years. However, this caused him a great amount of pain, he yelped, thrashed his had to one side, and his teeth collided with my face. I quickly set him back in the tub, said a few choice words, got out of the tub and looked in the mirror to see blood streaming down my face. Grabbing a paper towel, I told Matt to make sure Killian was ok, and I checked to see that the cuts had stayed around my eye and not actually affected my vision.

At this point, the shock was setting in. My dog had bit me, not really, more accurately he grazed me, but in the moment I was so hurt (physically and emotionally.) My heart rate spiked, my adrenaline dropped, and I told Matt I was going to pass out. I did. So here he was, dealing with a poop-covered, paralyzed dog, and an unconscious, in-shock girlfriend. He got Killian cleaned up, left him safely in the tub, and came to clean me up and take care of me. Luckily, there was no need for stitches and while the eyelid and surrounding areas were hit, the eyeball itself remained unharmed. Though I was left with a decent scar around my left eye.

Killian took up residence in the tub for the next two days. Matt lined one side with a moving blanket for when he was sleeping, and we kept the side closest to the drain empty as an area to drain his bladder (which we did eventually get figured out.) My brother came over the next day and picked me up so I could go grab my car and some extra clothes. Unfortunately, I was now in a place where I was over the top worried about my boy, but also afraid to help him in case I hurt him again. It was a real rollercoaster of emotions the next few days. Monday I had to return to work and I was calling every animal rehab facility in the area. Everywhere was booked out for consultations through the end of February. They all said "we can put down for this date but also add you to the waitlist, it'll be a fee for reserving the space though." So I was out more money, and feeling helpless.

We returned Killian to his crate, Matt was so good with him and helped ease my stress over moving him. I still slept next to his crate on the twin mattress to make sure he felt loved and comforted though. We started to worry more as it became clear that the medications the emergency vet put him on were too much for his body. He was incredibly high. Constantly falling asleep sitting up and landing face first into the side of the crate as his body fell to the side. He would startle back awake, and start the process over again several times until laying down and going to sleep.

The next several days, our relationship went through some major struggles. Actions were brought to light that added extra stress to an already immeasurable amount of stress. However, overall we became stronger through the struggles. Lines of communication were forced open, hurt was forced to heal, and Killian needed both of us. Giving up was not an option. Stress, life, and pain cannot take away the life we built and what truly means the most; love overpowers all. That being said, going through relationship struggles in the middle of a major life changing event is not easy in the least. It was truly the hardest week of my life to this point.

In an effort to work through everything and feel some normalcy, we planned an at home date night. Matt cooked dinner, we got fancy, Killian wore a bowtie, we asked and answered hard questions, we danced in the living room, and we found a little slice of normal in a chaotic mess.

So, we continued on. We would squeeze Killian's bladder, give him his pills, keep him in his crate or supervised in a dog bed. We eventually figured out the best way to help him poop. We started to grow concerned over the smell of his pee, so we ran a urine sample for infection (luckily he was clean and good.) We continued for about two weeks before some good news came in. I was driving to my coaching job and I received a call from one of the rehab facilities; they could now get him in on January 26th! This was a month ahead of schedule and we were so grateful. We were finally going to have a path toward healing.

Our consultation unfortunately wasn't as promising as we had hoped. Killian was negative for deep pain and all the rest of their tests. He was unaware of any of the poking and squeezing and prodding they did. So the path forward was to do four weeks of acupuncture and laser therapy and reevaluate. They gave us a harness to help him walk, and once again we were on our own with less promising news.

We finished out his medications, got into a rhythm with expressing, and started including more enrichment into his day. The weather started getting nice again so outdoor time was more manageable. Playing with toys seemed to excite him again. Playing peek-a-boo pumped him up. Even though he is struggling with freedom and independence, he is finding happy moments with us.

Throughout all of this, I wanted to find extra ways to support his medical bills. I have a collar company on Etsy and I made sure to post that all purchases were going toward Killian and his recovery. There were so many amazing people who helped out and showed their support of Killian, Matt, and myself. It truly warmed my heart to see how much they cared.

Week four came up on us quickly. Before we knew it, Killian was reevaluated by the doctor and the news was bleak. He is showing no progress and our best case is spinal walking: a form of walking that comes from the firing of neurons in the spine, not the brain. The neurological aspect of moving with intention will not return. Most likely, his continence will not return. There are moments of hope here and there, but it needs to be recentered to the focus of quality of life. He is happy, loved, and well cared for. Thus, we enter the wheelchair era.

At first I wasn't sure how the wheelchair would go. Killian is easily scared and doesn't react well to noises behind him. However, he has really taken to it. He is able to walk and run and be a little more independent. We are taking it day by day here, but we are so grateful for the fact that he isn't in pain and he has maintained his personality.